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Bradwan Nationwide Cultural Guide

First published in: City GENT Issue 127.  December 2005

Bradwan Nationwide Cultural Guide

First published in: City GENT Issue 123.  April 2005

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COLCHESTER

The town has a reasonable claim to be the oldest in Britain, when Boudicca led her revolt against the Romans from here her capital was already old.  There are a lot of interesting things to see in Colchester, but if the wind is cold, or you are stuck in traffic, it can feel like an enormous expanse of next to nothing.  It is also a garrison town.  Some of the locals warn of going into ‘squadie’ pubs, but the way things are going, the British Army will be so cut back, and fighting in so many places, that by the time we play here there wont be any British soldiers left in Britain, and Luxembourg can plan an invasion with confidence of success. 

Jumbo

To the west of the town centre near the scrappy remains of the town walls.  Its official name is the Balkerne Hill Tower.  Built as a water tower in 1883 and loved from the start.  It was decommissioned in the 80’s and there has been a fight going on to save it from money gulping redevelopment ever since.  The link below is an up-to-date replacement of the one in the Gent, suggested by web reader Roy.  Cheers Roy
Jumbo

The Siege House

If young lads on their first trip to France stop in one of the Channel ports, the thing that often surprises them the most is the number of bullet holes in the buildings.  There are almost none in England.  There are ruins caused by cannons and bombs, but not bullet scarred buildings.  This half timbered house in Colchester is the only one Bradwan knows of.  The holes have been there since 1648 and the English Civil War. 

Castle Museum

This was the biggest castle keep in europe, and is still impressive, despite having the top two floors knocked off in 1680.  The museum has a very strong history collection, as befits a major port and regional capital for the Celts, Romans, Anglo-Saxons, and English. 

Tymperleys Clock Museum

Another half timbered house with an unusual collection, the British Horological Institute in Nottingham is the only other clock museum we know of.  Even more unusual is the fact all the clocks were made in Colchester between 1640 and 1840.  Before factory made clocks became the norm most large towns would have had clock makers but Colchester must have had a lot of them for a whole collection to be formed from their work; or else the bloke who did the collecting, Bernard Mason, was an uber obsessive collector. 

The centre of Colchester also has a Natural History Museum and the ‘award winning' Hollytree Museum: a Georgian town house with the kind of ‘hands on’ stuff that gets awards.  It may be really good, but its website, like too many others, only tells you what you will experience, not what you can actually see, so it is impossible to make a balanced judgement.  However the Colchester Museum’s website is easy to use, looks well, and is well recommended. 
Colhester Museums

Report on Colchester
I had a really good trip to Colchester, even if the best part was selling both my books to Brenda on the train there.  It is an odd town.  The centre feels very well off, and I didn't see any boarded up shops, but there were more kebab shops than anywhere I have been, and most of the barracks I passed were ababdoned.  The Castle Museum is a Fiver in.  I tried to get my hand down, after all I am asking people to buy my contribution to culture, but the inside of the Castle is a shell of little interst in itself, and there seemed no effort to inform me of what they have stuck in it for me to see, on the way to the cash desk. 
I had a really good Two Pounds of mixed seafood from a market stall and a wonderful cornish pastie. 
The game was frustrating, just like so much of this season. 

CHESTERFIELD

The Chesterfield skyline is dominated by that spire, and the church at its bottom end is large and has some interesting things, for those interested in churches, but the edges of the town centre always looked to Bradwan like a 1960’s new town.  The bus station was one of the smallest and grottiest in the country;  and if you walk from the railway station to the town centre you will probably feel like giving up before you arrive; and you will not be helped by being bewildered by plenty of those stupid sign posts that every council in England seemed to buy 10 years ago; the sort that have ten pointers pointing to things you will never want to go to, but does not have one pointing to the place you are desperate to find; and if it does, someone will have climbed up the pole after midnight and moved it. 
Having said all that, Chesterfield is not that bad.  It has some good buildings and is very like Rotherham in terms of size, plan, and football team: and the Spirerites hate Ronnie Moore more than City fans do, and will be looking forward to the Rotherham game next season almost as much as Huddersfield will be looking forward to playing us. 

Chesterfield Museum

A bright red brick building near the church.  It concentrates, as it should, on the history of the town, although it probably wont explain why the area between it and the church is so utterly shabby.  The bypass is just beyond, but it is in a cutting, and there are fine views, and development potential.  The properties here should be some of the most exclusive for miles around, but it feels like a run down version of a Bradford back street. 

Markets

Chesterfield has one of the finest sets of markets in the grand central square.  There is a market hall and a large open air market next door. 

Saltergate A street with a medieval name, with fine 18th Century terraces at the town end and a medieval style football ground at the other.  Bradwan remembers there being violence when we came here in the early 80’s, but they did have Ernie Moss playing in their team. 

Chesterfield’s websites are straight forward and do their job without fuss. 

Chesterfield

REPORT The museum is one of the best of it's kind I have seen.  It is small, but they do not try and over reach themselves.  The Market and the Rutland are both cracking boozers.  On the down side City only managed a 0-0 draw, and I was 'offered out' by a drunken inbred in the Weatherspoons.  He did everything he could to start a fight apart from get off his chair and come at me, although he was so drunk I not sure he could have managed that. 

DONCASTER

Yet another town that is bigger than you think, has some streets with expensive shops in, has a long history, but can give the impression of being a complete closet of a place if you walk along the wrong roads.  The worst part of Doncaster was always coming out of the railway station and seeing the rough holed end of of one of the grottiest shopping centres ever built, on the other side of the road, and then discovering you were supposed to enter it’s crumbling concrete portal to get to the town.  Things may be better now. 

Doncaster Museum

Newly reopened.  The website tells you it is now the story of the River Don and the Great North Road, having abandoned being a museum inorder to become a narative thread, but says nothing about what you will actually see if you go inside, and only mentions the Art Gallery in the title.  You also have to stumble about their website to discover that the Museum of the King’s Own Light Infantry is in the same building. 

Belle View

We were never sure what of beauty you were supposed to be viewing from this ground.  The away fans cage?  The grandstand of the next door racecourse that was higher than the football ground was wide?  Or maybe the car park that was like an Action Man sized diorama of the Somme Battlefield?  Three years ago two members of the Bradwan team went to see Doncaster Rovers play Halifax Town here.  The racecourse and the Somme were still there, but the ground was well on its way to being completely redeveloped.  The game was one of the worst either had ever seen, by the way.  Halifax had a man sent off in the first 15 minutes and Doncaster spent the rest of the game trying to find the Fax penalty box, finding the net being out of the question.  One point to note was that the nearest on street parking was a very long walk, and the town centre is over double the distance. 

The Leopard

If you turn sharp right when you leave the station, instead of venturing to find the crumbling portal, via the passage clearing under pass, you will soon come to the this good boozer.  A fine place to drink, with well priced sandwiches, if you ever have to spend over half an hour at Doncaster station. 


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